3.30.2005

saving face

i rarely say what i mean
whisper the words in an empty room
with no one listening
scribble it down on a clean white page
but i'm not so pristine
i don't know what i am doing

i can't tell you what i think
without losing the words in a laugh and a drink
i can't tell you who i am
in the absence of the page and the pen
i can't tell you how i feel
like none of this matters and none of it is real

i break everything i touch
concentrate and my hands start to shake
i've been drinking too much
gives me the courage to lie to your face
so i can save mine
a humble offering to pride

i can't tell you what i think
without losing the words in a laugh and a drink
i can't tell you who i am
in the absence of the page and the pen
i can't tell you how i feel
like none of this matters and none of it is real

3.17.2005

feather

sun doesn’t feel warm anymore
everything takes on a sinister hue
still i launch myself into the blue
used to shuffle but now i soar

i was in the air
i was in the air
i was in the air
and i didn’t need you there

go while you still have the chance
tuck a feather behind your ear
a trinket, a token, a souvenir
last glance and i start to dance

i was in the air
i was in the air
i was in the air
and i didn’t need you there

3.04.2005

too many lovers in my bed

this morning i thought "oh my god, i'm taking the same steps,
the same breaths as yesterday."
wanted to crawl back in bed, tell the world to go to hell
but i kept walking anyway

this is not what i thought my life would be
a war between chaos and destiny
does chance sleep with fate? does fate lie with me?
too many lovers in my bed

so i run around- gain & lose the same ground with the same chance,
the same choice and no sign of change
distractions, transactions bought with the blood of my dreams
i'm told i don't want for anything

this is not what i thought my life would be
a war between chaos and destiny
does chance sleep with fate? does fate lie with me?
too many lovers in my bed

i have this dream where i stand still and
scream
in the street
for no reason.
does anything ever happen?

this is not what i thought my life would be
a war between chaos and destiny
does chance sleep with fate? does fate lie with me?
too many lovers in my bed