9.23.1999

Chasing After the Wind

Nothing but bones where a home used to lay
A picture on the front steps is all I've got left
When the echo of our footsteps has faded away

If I go chasing after the wind, to find there's nothing new under the sun
Remind this aching heart of mine that everything is made beautiful in time

Nothing but bones where a home used to breathe
I'm seeing things, ghosts wandering
In the wreckage their unfulfilled dreams

If I go chasing after the wind, to find there's nothing new under the sun
Remind this aching heart of mine that everything is made beautiful in time

I'll put on my best dress and dance all night
I'll put on my best dress and dance all night
I'll put on my best dress and dance all night
Laughter drives away the sorrow
and blindness heals the sight
Blindness heals the sight


If I go chasing after the wind, to find there's nothing new under the sun
Remind this aching heart of mine that everything is made beautiful in time
Everything is made beautiful in time

9.22.1999

Tumble Down

If I run out in the rain, close my eyes to everything
Open my mouth to catch the drops, to sear my throat with fire
Will you think it's strange?

It's salt upon my tongue, a racing flame within my veins
I tumble down to the earth, I tumble down in the mud
Do you think it's strange?

I didn't ever really want you to understand anything
I didn't ever really want you to understand anything
I didn't ever really want you to understand anything
Do you blame me? I am the one to blame?

I live on insubstantial dreams, a feast of sugar-plum schemes
Santa stuffed my stocking full of poetry and stars and coal
Do you think it's strange

I didn't ever really want you to understand anything
I didn't ever really want you to understand anything
I didn't ever really want you to understand anything
Do you blame me? I am the one to blame?

I tumble down to the earth, I tumble down in the mud
Do you think it's strange?
Spin in circles till we fall, till it all comes crashing down
Do you think it's strange?

I didn't ever really want you to understand anything
I didn't ever really want you to understand anything
I didn't ever really want you to understand anything
Do you blame me? I am the one to blame?

9.20.1999

Can It Be Forgiven

There's always a reason, some kind of excuse
For what I've become and what I've been
You see who I should be, you see who I am
How the sacred and the sin
Get tangled up in knots beneath my skin

The selfishness inside me, can it be forgiven?
The jealousy inside me, can it be forgiven?
The bitterness inside me, can it be forgiven?
The anger inside me, can it be forgiven?
Can it be forgiven?

I wanted to say this isn't my fault
To find someone or something to blame
Then you took my face into your lovely hands
My guilt touched by innocence
and we both came away unstained

The selfishness inside me, can it be forgiven?
The jealousy inside me, can it be forgiven?
The bitterness inside me, can it be forgiven?
The anger inside me, can it be forgiven?
Can it be forgiven?

8.23.1999

What You Do

You saw me when I made myself invisible
You heard me though I didn't raise my voice
You knew me when I hid my heart from you
and I thought no one knew

Do you ever realize what it is you do to me?

You loved me when I refused to change
You touched me even when I was afraid
You held me with the smile in your eyes
and I thought no one knew

Do you ever realize what it is you do to me?
Do you ever realize what it is you do to me?
Do you ever realize what it is you do to me?

7.23.1999

Cinders

The stars rain a chill light but I never feel the cold
My eyes burn clean and clear, my hands are full of cinders
I am dirty, I am ugly, but I feel as if I'm beautiful
My eyes flame clean and clear, my hands are stained with cinders

You could make me shine for a night, make me shine for a night
In your reflected light, it's only your reflected light
But come the morning, come the morning
My eyes wouldn't sparkle so bright

I'm content as I am, lucid visions dance
My eyes flame clean and clear, my hands are caked with cinders
I am dirty, I am ugly, but I feel as if I'm beautiful
My eyes flame clean and clear, and I'm not ashamed of the cinders

You could make me shine for a night, make me shine for a night
In your reflected light, it's only your reflected light
But come the morning, come the morning
My eyes wouldn't sparkle so bright

Don't slay my dragons, don't come to my rescue
I don't need no saving and I don't want a hero
Leave your polished armor home or just leave me alone
My eyes flame clean and clear, and I don't fear the cinders


You could make me shine for a night, make me shine for a night
In your reflected light, it's only your reflected light
But come the morning, come the morning
My eyes wouldn't sparkle so bright

I am dirty, I am ugly, but I feel as if I'm beautiful

Fall With Me

I caught light kissing rain beneath the bright cathedral of a swirling sky
Locked in a desperate embrace, a hopeless race with time, an irresistible goodbye

Fall, fall with me

Leaves dancing with wind, blushing at each breath that brushes their skin
I see them bursting into flame, breaking into flight, an irresistible goodbye

Fall, fall with me

6.23.1999

Why Should I Weep For the Morning

Tonight I will dance like a child under the moon
and fill my lungs with the silver autumn air
I will breathe deep until my soul is shattered
and I will leave all the pieces lying there

Why should I weep for the morning?
I don't know what tomorrow will bring

Tonight I will ache with the purest of joys
that sends me crumbling, stumbling to my knees
I will rejoice in the weakness of my fall
and the redemption your love has wrought in me

Why should I weep for the morning?
I don't know what tomorrow will bring

Tonight I will tear this veil from my eyes
and open them wide and newborn in the light
I will awake in the innocent tomorrow
After kissing every lonely star goodnight

Why should I weep for the morning?
I don't know what tomorrow will bring

5.23.1999

Never Needed

I can't decipher the messages in your eyes
but I can tell you think they've been received
I caught the truth cuddling up to the lies
Beneath a blanket of dreams that I'd like to believe in
But you never let me sleep in

If I were braver, I'd tell you that I stay awake to watch you sleep
and even in the next room I can feel you breathe
and I envy every breath that fills your lungs
'cuz you need air like you never needed me
you never needed me

You speak a language of furtive sideways glances
but fail to realize that I never learned to translate
Your voice is unwilling to take any more chances
and silence is too selfish to give anything away


But if I was braver, I'd tell you that I stay awake to watch you sleep
and even in the next room I can feel you breathe
and I envy every breath that fills your lungs
'cuz you need air like you never needed me
you never needed me